I had one of those personal success stories today, a tiny victory. You know, when you actually put something into practice that you've reminded yourself of more times than you can count? We had finished the bulk of our homeschool work and I desperately needed to get to the grocery store for some essentials. My husband is out of town, so there haven't been any evenings when I could sneak out and grocery shop alone. I told the kids to go to the bathroom, and put on their shoes and jackets; we had four errands on the agenda. The boys said they were ready and headed out the back door (for just a quick minute) while I was putting on Tessa's shoes. Once I was ready to leave, they both came running in saying they needed to go to the bathroom and change out of their backyard shoes. Okay, thanks for listening the first time, is what I thought.
We quickly took care of our first three errands, and were on the way to the grocery store--not the most fun place in the world to take four kids, but we would survive. As we turned down the street towards the grocery store it occurred to me that I had probably left my grocery list and my hefty envelope of coupons at home. I reached down in my purse to double check, and sure enough, no list or coupons! I was slightly irritated. The first thought that entered my mind was: Well boys, if you would have cooperated and did what I asked you to do instead of running outside, I wouldn't have been thrown off my game and I would've remembered my envelope on the counter! Yep, I admit it! That was the first thought that entered my mind as the irritation of forgetting something necessary swept over me. We were already running errands too close to the lunchtime hour and I wondered how long my 2 year old would be agreeable. I felt irritated that I had to turn around and return home before we shopped.
I'm sure by now you're wondering what personal success I experienced in all this. Well, although the first thought that entered my mind was a negative one--blaming my children--I did not speak this thought out loud. In fact, in keeping my mouth shut, I quickly came to my senses.
Was forgetting my grocery list and coupons my children's fault? Absolutely not! Have I ever blamed my children, in my own mind or out loud, for something that was not their fault? Yep! I am willing to admit that I have, although I am not proud of this. More times than not, I've had to apologize to my children and explain that "Mommy was just feeling frustrated." Is that fair or okay? No! But, I am human and I struggle with my emotions from time to time. Okay, maybe "from time to time" is generous, but that's not the point! I sometimes struggle with wanting to place blame or point a finger--even if it's pointed at me. I'm especially guilty of this when something inconvenient or frustrating catches me off guard. Again, I'm not proud of this; it's an area of struggle for me.
On this particular day, I started my morning with a devotion that reminded me of times like these. No matter how big or small, when something happens that is frustrating or upsetting, our reaction is what really matters. It can be unfruitful, at times, to ask Why?. Moreover, it often does no good to voice frustrations that cannot be helped. In my case today, it would have been upsetting, hurtful, and possibly harmful to give voice to my irrational accusations in the heat of the moment. My children would have felt guilty and responsible for something that was never their responsibility--no matter how they behaved before we left the house. (Not to mention, I certainly would not have been modeling any helpful coping skills for them.)
I was not thrilled to have to run errands with four children so close to the lunchtime hour. I knew that I still had to hurry home, unload groceries, prepare lunch, and finish homeschooling my boys. However, I am thankful we had a morning like that. I'm glad that I forgot my list and my coupons. I'm glad because it gave me the opportunity to experience one tiny victory: I kept my mouth shut! Maybe you can relate. Maybe keeping your mouth shut is a tiny but significant victory for you--as it is for me! Or maybe that isn't you at all. Whatever your personal struggle, no matter how big or small, victory feels great! Sometimes that's all we mama's need....one tiny victory!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Muddy Madness
Ever have a day when you feel like you've taught your kids nothing judging by the way they behave? Is it humorous that I'm even asking you that question--because you find yourself feeling that way more often than you'd care to admit? I was there this morning! Truthfully, I'm there more often than I want to admit. So, at the risk of being considered an unfit mother, here goes my story!
Breakfast finished; girls upstairs to get some dolls; boys outside to play. Probably not even 10 minutes later I head outside with my girls to push them on the swings. On our way out I notice that the water hose is dripping. I remind Luke not to turn it on without permission, to which he cheerfully replies, "Okay mom, I won't!" (Good response, I think.) Then as we head to the swing set, I look at my chaise lounge and notice that there are huge clumps of wet mud splattered all over it...ALL over it! I am not happy! I look at Jaden who smirks and quietly points to Luke. Luke quickly explains, "That was a squirrel's mess! A squirrel did that!" Yeah, nice try! Then I look at Jaden again and command, "You'd better start talking now and tell me the story." Jaden continues smirking and says, "Luke did it." (Obviously!) Then I notice there are also clumps of mud splattered all over one of the swings. I send the boys inside!
Now, I will not bore you with the details of their discipline, but I assure you that they were disciplined! After their time of discipline was finished, I talked to both of them. I talked to Luke first and he was well aware that he had acted wrongfully. When I began to talk with Jaden I had every intention of reminding him that he was wrong because he didn't tell Luke to stop what he was doing and because he didn't come tell me. So, I asked him "Now you do know why you were wrong, don't you?" He replied, "Yes." So I asked him, for the purpose of discussion, "Why were you wrong?" His answer shocked me! "Because I told him to do it." Give me a stinkin break! Are you kidding me? My 8 year old told his brother to do such a thing? These were my thoughts, though they may have been just a bit more colorful in my mind... Now, insert the I have no idea if I've taught my children anything at all feelings. Oh, and add to those the common mommy-comparison thoughts and feelings. (Oh yes, guilty of those too!) I'm sure so-and-so's kids would never ever do something like this. Maybe some of you think I'm overreacting and that's fine. I also imagine that poor, childish behavior--such as my boys' this morning--is more common than most of us mothers like to admit to each other!
Now, on most given days I can think of a multitude of stories about my children that make me feel so proud of their character. I love sharing those glowing stories. I do not enjoy sharing the stories that reveal how they are still so lacking in judgment, decency (sometimes), and even common sense! Come to think of it, they often remind me of some adults I know! At some point, I will laugh at this situation, but this morning I was not happy and was certainly not laughing! Later in the day, I heard a familiar song--the words seemed so fitting.
Breakfast finished; girls upstairs to get some dolls; boys outside to play. Probably not even 10 minutes later I head outside with my girls to push them on the swings. On our way out I notice that the water hose is dripping. I remind Luke not to turn it on without permission, to which he cheerfully replies, "Okay mom, I won't!" (Good response, I think.) Then as we head to the swing set, I look at my chaise lounge and notice that there are huge clumps of wet mud splattered all over it...ALL over it! I am not happy! I look at Jaden who smirks and quietly points to Luke. Luke quickly explains, "That was a squirrel's mess! A squirrel did that!" Yeah, nice try! Then I look at Jaden again and command, "You'd better start talking now and tell me the story." Jaden continues smirking and says, "Luke did it." (Obviously!) Then I notice there are also clumps of mud splattered all over one of the swings. I send the boys inside!
Now, I will not bore you with the details of their discipline, but I assure you that they were disciplined! After their time of discipline was finished, I talked to both of them. I talked to Luke first and he was well aware that he had acted wrongfully. When I began to talk with Jaden I had every intention of reminding him that he was wrong because he didn't tell Luke to stop what he was doing and because he didn't come tell me. So, I asked him "Now you do know why you were wrong, don't you?" He replied, "Yes." So I asked him, for the purpose of discussion, "Why were you wrong?" His answer shocked me! "Because I told him to do it." Give me a stinkin break! Are you kidding me? My 8 year old told his brother to do such a thing? These were my thoughts, though they may have been just a bit more colorful in my mind... Now, insert the I have no idea if I've taught my children anything at all feelings. Oh, and add to those the common mommy-comparison thoughts and feelings. (Oh yes, guilty of those too!) I'm sure so-and-so's kids would never ever do something like this. Maybe some of you think I'm overreacting and that's fine. I also imagine that poor, childish behavior--such as my boys' this morning--is more common than most of us mothers like to admit to each other!
Now, on most given days I can think of a multitude of stories about my children that make me feel so proud of their character. I love sharing those glowing stories. I do not enjoy sharing the stories that reveal how they are still so lacking in judgment, decency (sometimes), and even common sense! Come to think of it, they often remind me of some adults I know! At some point, I will laugh at this situation, but this morning I was not happy and was certainly not laughing! Later in the day, I heard a familiar song--the words seemed so fitting.
So I'll learn to love these days
Life along the way
In the middle of the crazy
God your love is so amazing
Through the ups and downs
You're the only hope I've found
Lord you meet me in the madness
I'll learn to love these days
And that is the truth of it, isn't it? God is still so amazing and His love is unending! Even in the mess and madness of my days, He loves me and He loves my kids. Even when I question the ultimate success of my mothering (which by the way, I'm not supposed to judge...let alone judge by my children's behaviors), He's patient, gentle, and loving with me. So..."I'll learn to love these days!"
*lyrics by Mandisa
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Please Pass the Grace!
Oh the irony of it! I headed for the back door to tell my boys that they could stay outside and play for the afternoon, instead of coming in for a rest, because they were playing so nicely. As I opened the back door I saw my 8 year old, adorned with a grumpy face, holding his shoulder and claiming that Luke hurt him. "He kicked me! He did it on purpose!" Luke, dragging his feet behind Jaden replied, "No I didn't." I began to ask Luke what happened and if it was an accident. Jaden interrupted me and fussed, "He did do it on purpose!" not even giving Luke a chance to explain. "Okay!" "In the house and up to your room for naps; if you can't play nicely or extend any grace to one another, you don't get to stay up!" And that was that.
After everyone had washed their hands and was in bed, I laughed a bit. Just a bit. Ten minutes earlier we were all outside and it was delightful! My girls were running through the yard, jumping on the swing, jumping off, and running to the other end of the yard giggling away. My boys had been working in their construction site (a.k.a. large sandbox turned into large dirt box complete with a boy-made 2.5 ft quarry in it). They were so cute working together. At one point Jaden said to Luke, "Luke you are such a great pal for helping me out!" My mama's heart was full and smiling. Ahh, but this smile doesn't always last...for kids will be kids.
I still don't know if Luke kicked or hit Jaden on purpose; or if it was a careless accident; or if it was on purpose--but instigated. I probably will never know because frankly I don't feel like digging it back up after they nap (or lie awake on their beds for the 45 min. that I require of them). I can't always get to the bottom of every squabble or tiff. Moreover, I don't always have the best answer or strategy when these situations arise. I don't always know what to do and I don't often have time to deliberate. And it's likely that I react wrongly or inappropriately from time to time. But, there is grace! I am given grace from God because He surely knows that parenting is tough work. This isn't my second go at having an 8 year old and a 5 year old boy. They didn't come with complete play by play instructions. I am learning as I go. So are you! So, thankfully we have a God who offers us His grace over and over and over.
Not only am I thankful for that grace, but I choose to offer it to my children daily. Yes, there will still be consequences, direct and implied, but I will offer grace. They are imperfect children just as I am a very imperfect mom living in an imperfect world. That's the imperfect beauty of it. So, today there won't be any rehashing of what went down in the backyard. There will just be grace. There will be a second, third, and fourth chance to try and work out disagreements. Surely, they will fail again. But just as surely, they will learn and succeed at working out their problems with one another. Just as I receive God's grace...just as they receive my grace...eventually they will extend grace to one another. They will.
After everyone had washed their hands and was in bed, I laughed a bit. Just a bit. Ten minutes earlier we were all outside and it was delightful! My girls were running through the yard, jumping on the swing, jumping off, and running to the other end of the yard giggling away. My boys had been working in their construction site (a.k.a. large sandbox turned into large dirt box complete with a boy-made 2.5 ft quarry in it). They were so cute working together. At one point Jaden said to Luke, "Luke you are such a great pal for helping me out!" My mama's heart was full and smiling. Ahh, but this smile doesn't always last...for kids will be kids.
I still don't know if Luke kicked or hit Jaden on purpose; or if it was a careless accident; or if it was on purpose--but instigated. I probably will never know because frankly I don't feel like digging it back up after they nap (or lie awake on their beds for the 45 min. that I require of them). I can't always get to the bottom of every squabble or tiff. Moreover, I don't always have the best answer or strategy when these situations arise. I don't always know what to do and I don't often have time to deliberate. And it's likely that I react wrongly or inappropriately from time to time. But, there is grace! I am given grace from God because He surely knows that parenting is tough work. This isn't my second go at having an 8 year old and a 5 year old boy. They didn't come with complete play by play instructions. I am learning as I go. So are you! So, thankfully we have a God who offers us His grace over and over and over.
Not only am I thankful for that grace, but I choose to offer it to my children daily. Yes, there will still be consequences, direct and implied, but I will offer grace. They are imperfect children just as I am a very imperfect mom living in an imperfect world. That's the imperfect beauty of it. So, today there won't be any rehashing of what went down in the backyard. There will just be grace. There will be a second, third, and fourth chance to try and work out disagreements. Surely, they will fail again. But just as surely, they will learn and succeed at working out their problems with one another. Just as I receive God's grace...just as they receive my grace...eventually they will extend grace to one another. They will.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Memory Lane...With a Twist
Today has been one of those glorious days that we moms get to experience with our children every once in a while. Not often enough, in my opinion. So many days are full of chores, errands, discipline, or even sheer monotony that it becomes difficult to remember how truly blessed we are. Just last evening I was telling my husband that the dinnertime hour is my least favorite time of the day. Even declaring that makes me sad because I have such fond dinnertime memories from my childhood. Good food, laughter, stories...being together! But, with 4 children still so young (and most of them still picky-eaters) we are not at the wonderful, relaxed, dinnertime hour...just yet! Even while I am busy preparing delicious and healthy meals, I know without a doubt, that someone will complain, whine, or ask if they have to eat what I've made. Then, we enter the actual sit-down-to-dinner-together meal and the work of being parents is in full-force. Manners, messes, arguments over vegetables, a whining toddler who won't eat and instead tries to throw her plate (good thing this mommy has mad-reflexes!) and the list goes on. Not to mention the cleanup in the kitchen, the dining room, and under the table following dinner! Okay, you get the point! Not my favorite hour--though I hold high hopes for the future! So that's how parenting is so often--diligent, tough work--but now and then you have glorious times!
Back to my original thought! This morning was one such time. We headed to one of our favorite parks right away after breakfast and brushing teeth. My oldest son, now 8, has become such a helper, so he headed to the garage to get the blue stroller (not the small purple umbrella one) and opened the van doors for the other kids. I envisioned playing, walks, stopping for a snack, a coffee for me on the way--a good time! As Jaden pushed the stroller to the side of the van where I was getting my little one out, I realized he did not get the blue stroller with the storage space for my backpack and drinks. He got the umbrella stroller. No room for drinks, sunscreen, snacks, or diapers! And I had pants with no pockets! The backpack has a broken strap! I then realized we would have a much shorter visit at the park, right? No, that's not what happened at all. We had a long, glorious morning at the park!
The weather was cooler than it's been and the mosquitoes were not out. No one was at the playground for our first playtime. We had the equipment and space to ourselves. My 4 year old, who has a tendency to become quite whiny, did absolutely no whining! Really! None! We decided to head off for our usual walk down the boardwalk bridge to the creek where the kids love to throw rocks, leaves, and sticks through the slats of the covered bridge. Usually the walk ends there and we head back the way we came. But today everyone, including my inclined-to-whine-Ella, was happy to take an even longer walk. We strolled and took our time--it was so nice and leisurely! It was glorious! We all enjoyed each other's company as well as nature's beauty.
It got even better for me. We headed to the lovely garden beside the historic manor house we've visited before. I began to tell the kids (although maybe we've told them before) that this was the very place Mommy and Daddy came to have our pictures taken when we were married. They've seen our wedding pictures. And I'm pretty sure they've walked through that garden before. But suddenly, such a wave of emotion came over me! Amazement. Thankfulness. Awe. I was walking down my own memory lane...with a twist. An amazing, beautiful twist! As I pointed to one of the gazebos where Ron and I had posed for a picture, I thought about some of the dreams, hopes, and visions that were inside both of us on that beautiful day. And here I was, back at that same magical place, with four of those dreams right by my side. Awestruck! Completely overwhelmed with the glorious, miraculous magic of how our lives unfold.
I'll tell you what: if God never does one more thing for me in this life, I'm overwhelmed with thankfulness for that which He's already done. I realize that every parent may not have a similar opportunity--to walk with their children in the specific place where their union became real. But, I do believe if we are willing to slow down once in a while; to stroll leisurely; to purpose to take our time enjoying our children, we will have opportunities to be overwhelmed with the realization of the miracle that they are. Further, I believe that all of us can experience such moments of deep and grateful realization, even if we do not have children. Life is so much more precious when we take the time to slow down, enjoy it, and treasure simple moments. The magic for me was in the simple moments of this day. Dinnertime may continue to be a bust for a few years, but I aim to slow down and enjoy more and more the four beautiful gifts God gave me.
Back to my original thought! This morning was one such time. We headed to one of our favorite parks right away after breakfast and brushing teeth. My oldest son, now 8, has become such a helper, so he headed to the garage to get the blue stroller (not the small purple umbrella one) and opened the van doors for the other kids. I envisioned playing, walks, stopping for a snack, a coffee for me on the way--a good time! As Jaden pushed the stroller to the side of the van where I was getting my little one out, I realized he did not get the blue stroller with the storage space for my backpack and drinks. He got the umbrella stroller. No room for drinks, sunscreen, snacks, or diapers! And I had pants with no pockets! The backpack has a broken strap! I then realized we would have a much shorter visit at the park, right? No, that's not what happened at all. We had a long, glorious morning at the park!
The weather was cooler than it's been and the mosquitoes were not out. No one was at the playground for our first playtime. We had the equipment and space to ourselves. My 4 year old, who has a tendency to become quite whiny, did absolutely no whining! Really! None! We decided to head off for our usual walk down the boardwalk bridge to the creek where the kids love to throw rocks, leaves, and sticks through the slats of the covered bridge. Usually the walk ends there and we head back the way we came. But today everyone, including my inclined-to-whine-Ella, was happy to take an even longer walk. We strolled and took our time--it was so nice and leisurely! It was glorious! We all enjoyed each other's company as well as nature's beauty.
It got even better for me. We headed to the lovely garden beside the historic manor house we've visited before. I began to tell the kids (although maybe we've told them before) that this was the very place Mommy and Daddy came to have our pictures taken when we were married. They've seen our wedding pictures. And I'm pretty sure they've walked through that garden before. But suddenly, such a wave of emotion came over me! Amazement. Thankfulness. Awe. I was walking down my own memory lane...with a twist. An amazing, beautiful twist! As I pointed to one of the gazebos where Ron and I had posed for a picture, I thought about some of the dreams, hopes, and visions that were inside both of us on that beautiful day. And here I was, back at that same magical place, with four of those dreams right by my side. Awestruck! Completely overwhelmed with the glorious, miraculous magic of how our lives unfold.
I'll tell you what: if God never does one more thing for me in this life, I'm overwhelmed with thankfulness for that which He's already done. I realize that every parent may not have a similar opportunity--to walk with their children in the specific place where their union became real. But, I do believe if we are willing to slow down once in a while; to stroll leisurely; to purpose to take our time enjoying our children, we will have opportunities to be overwhelmed with the realization of the miracle that they are. Further, I believe that all of us can experience such moments of deep and grateful realization, even if we do not have children. Life is so much more precious when we take the time to slow down, enjoy it, and treasure simple moments. The magic for me was in the simple moments of this day. Dinnertime may continue to be a bust for a few years, but I aim to slow down and enjoy more and more the four beautiful gifts God gave me.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
A Spiritual Time-Out
Earlier I sent my 8 year old to his room to take some time alone and talk to God. His attitude had gone from just okay to downright not nice. He was falling apart over little things and not responding well to anyone. I told him he needed to just take some time and make things right between him and God, and that he could not come out of his room until he had done this. About 15 minutes later, while I was in the shower (door open, mind you!) listening to my daughters slamming their bedroom door over and over and over, I thought, "I wish I had sent myself to my room to talk to God!" If only, right?
Nothing about my day started out great. I woke up to my 2 year old screaming and crying. As I entered her room, I smelled the offense! She has experimented with removing her own diaper recently. This time, something happened soon after for which she was ill-prepared. She was trapped at one side of her bed absolutely terrified at what was laying on the other side! Okay! Bath time bright and early! Laundry to follow.
After breakfast, I agreed to let the kids build a monstrous house out of every cushion, pillow, chair, blanket, and book in the house, accepting that I would use the living room space for my workout this evening instead of this morning. Shortly after this process began is when my son's attitude took a turn for the worse. He's a perfectionist with very big visions; when he can't make the visions a reality, he becomes easily frustrated. Meanwhile, my printer misprinted and ruined at least 4 pretty valuable coupons. I realize this isn't a life or death issue, but when you're a single income family, saving money is key! My online banking website also seemed to be having an off day, but when I finally reached it I realized that a check written weeks ago had not cashed. It was now past due! Beautiful! (Please forgive the sarcasm.) So, I could hope that my insurance company would practice some decency; that after I submitted an online payment, should they receive a check that they contact me before cashing it. But, I don't have that much faith in insurance companies. So, I sat on the phone with a very courteous bank representative who kindly stopped the payment of my check to the small tune of thirty-five dollars! Yippee! Well, at least that's done!
So, fast forward to my epiphany in the shower that I really wish I'd sent myself to my room to talk to God. The reality is, that is exactly what I needed and need to do! At least, in a sense. So, maybe I can't actually remove myself entirely from my young children's presence for 20 minutes to go to my room for a real time-out, but I can take a spiritual time-out whenever I am smart enough to realize I need one. This can be as simple as stopping, breathing, and refocusing on God, "the one in whom our hope should rest in quiet confidence all along." Yes, all the little frustrations of the day are valid. Each one was unexpected and irritating to some degree. But, is it the end of the world? Heck no! An early bath here, some extra laundry there, $35 here.... It is going to be alright! I would have realized that much earlier if I had simply taken a moment to remind myself of the one who holds my world in His hands.
I had enough time and insight to afford my son the opportunity to go remind himself of the one who cares for him. He could have taken two minutes or an hour and it wouldn't have mattered to me! I just wanted him to take a spiritual time-out so that his day would get better and not worse. Not surprisingly, he came downstairs after about 30 minutes and gave me a hug and apologized for his attitude. I knew he had talked to God! I never told him he needed to apologize to me. But, this time of quiet meditation or prayer with His heavenly Father was all he needed to redirect his path. He has been just fine ever since. I will be too. I have taken a few moments to quiet myself and place my cares in my Father's hands. (They're much bigger than mine--He can hold an awful lot!) I know I can't fix every aggravating thing that happens in my life, and I really don't expect God to either. But, I know that if I quietly remind myself, in the middle of life's aggravations, that God cares for me and sees the end as well as the beginning, I can handle just about anything.
*quote by Candy Chand, Gift of Grace
Nothing about my day started out great. I woke up to my 2 year old screaming and crying. As I entered her room, I smelled the offense! She has experimented with removing her own diaper recently. This time, something happened soon after for which she was ill-prepared. She was trapped at one side of her bed absolutely terrified at what was laying on the other side! Okay! Bath time bright and early! Laundry to follow.
After breakfast, I agreed to let the kids build a monstrous house out of every cushion, pillow, chair, blanket, and book in the house, accepting that I would use the living room space for my workout this evening instead of this morning. Shortly after this process began is when my son's attitude took a turn for the worse. He's a perfectionist with very big visions; when he can't make the visions a reality, he becomes easily frustrated. Meanwhile, my printer misprinted and ruined at least 4 pretty valuable coupons. I realize this isn't a life or death issue, but when you're a single income family, saving money is key! My online banking website also seemed to be having an off day, but when I finally reached it I realized that a check written weeks ago had not cashed. It was now past due! Beautiful! (Please forgive the sarcasm.) So, I could hope that my insurance company would practice some decency; that after I submitted an online payment, should they receive a check that they contact me before cashing it. But, I don't have that much faith in insurance companies. So, I sat on the phone with a very courteous bank representative who kindly stopped the payment of my check to the small tune of thirty-five dollars! Yippee! Well, at least that's done!
So, fast forward to my epiphany in the shower that I really wish I'd sent myself to my room to talk to God. The reality is, that is exactly what I needed and need to do! At least, in a sense. So, maybe I can't actually remove myself entirely from my young children's presence for 20 minutes to go to my room for a real time-out, but I can take a spiritual time-out whenever I am smart enough to realize I need one. This can be as simple as stopping, breathing, and refocusing on God, "the one in whom our hope should rest in quiet confidence all along." Yes, all the little frustrations of the day are valid. Each one was unexpected and irritating to some degree. But, is it the end of the world? Heck no! An early bath here, some extra laundry there, $35 here.... It is going to be alright! I would have realized that much earlier if I had simply taken a moment to remind myself of the one who holds my world in His hands.
I had enough time and insight to afford my son the opportunity to go remind himself of the one who cares for him. He could have taken two minutes or an hour and it wouldn't have mattered to me! I just wanted him to take a spiritual time-out so that his day would get better and not worse. Not surprisingly, he came downstairs after about 30 minutes and gave me a hug and apologized for his attitude. I knew he had talked to God! I never told him he needed to apologize to me. But, this time of quiet meditation or prayer with His heavenly Father was all he needed to redirect his path. He has been just fine ever since. I will be too. I have taken a few moments to quiet myself and place my cares in my Father's hands. (They're much bigger than mine--He can hold an awful lot!) I know I can't fix every aggravating thing that happens in my life, and I really don't expect God to either. But, I know that if I quietly remind myself, in the middle of life's aggravations, that God cares for me and sees the end as well as the beginning, I can handle just about anything.
*quote by Candy Chand, Gift of Grace
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
When All Is Green...
There is a song that my parents have always enjoyed, and we grew up hearing many times, called "Summertime and the Living is Easy." Have you heard it? It really is a catchy tune! You can just imagine yourself lounging near water on a beautiful, sunny, breezy summer day. There is just something about summer, isn't there? (Well, especially for all of my Midwest friends.) We feel the seasons and we find ourselves, at some point, longing for those summer days. And it's not only about school being out; it's not only about the long swims; it's not only about popsicles and ice cream sundaes (though a sundae sure sounds heavenly right now!). It's the whole thing! There's just something about summer...when all is green. Isn't that the way life is too? When the living is easy--when all is green--we do just fine!
I've been thinking about that in my life for several reasons recently. There's just something easier, more slow-paced and relaxing, when it's summertime. Sure, I still have responsibilities; I'm not even entirely finished with the home school year for my son. But, the living is easy! I only have to look out my windows and see all the green and I'm overwhelmed with joy, peace, and utter contentment! (Maybe it helps that green is my absolute favorite color!) I'm sad to see it go, and so happy to see it return! It's the whole picture really: the blue skies, the contrast of the green leaves, brown tree trunks, and the vibrant colors everywhere! I'm in awe of God's glory all around!
I'm not always completely at peace in my own skin when it comes to growing older. If I'm honest, I'll admit that there are times when I long for younger, more carefree days. There are times when my numerical age just annoys me, because I feel at least 10 years younger on the inside. However, one thing I so appreciate about growing older is that I've learned better how to embrace different seasons of my life. Not always. Not without some work and determination. But, I've learned that there is a time to rest and enjoy; there is a time to put my hand to the plow; there is a time to study, reflect, listen, and learn. Wisdom tells us that we benefit from paying attention to the season that we're in and do what needs to be done during that season. So, when all is green--when the living is easy, then great! But, when the living isn't so easy, it is time to take stock and direct our lives, our days, on purpose!
I've been reflecting on this concept, as I said before, in several realms of my life and the lives of others around me. I've considered relationships specifically. Whether it's the relationship I have with my spouse; or the relationship with my children; friends or others, I have to choose to pay attention on purpose. I need to take stock at times. You know, driving is a lot easier in the summer (as long as your AC doesn't quit on ya), but driving in the winter takes a lot more skill, caution, alertness, and patience. There may be adverse road conditions! Our relationships can be exactly the same. When I see adversity arise in any of these relationships, I owe it to myself and the other person, to take stock and develop a course of action.
I honestly don't think that many of the conditions in our relationships take us entirely by surprise. If we are paying attention, we see the warning signs. When my daughter is whining excessively, chances are she needs some one-on-one time; she needs me to slow down and pay attention to her. She needs me to put the vacuum away, come sit with her on the couch, snuggle, and read a book. She doesn't need me to put the vacuum away and move on to the next task on my to-do list, while fussing at her to stop her whining! And I'm guilty, all too often, of the latter. When my husband and I start bickering about the relatively insignificant details of our lives, we need a date night! We need time to truly reconnect; we need to remind ourselves why we are together, what the future holds, and what we love about our life together. And, if we can't have a date night out, we make one at home; we get coffee or take-out, and we spend time together...we do this often! When it's summertime, we can just run outside in shorts and flip flops and take a walk. When it's getting colder, we have to do much more preparation to even venture outdoors.
It's well and good to enjoy the summertime days of our lives. When it's lush and green, enjoy as you should! It's also okay to go through the other seasons. They each have a purpose and something to teach us. The key is to pay attention. We must! Every relationship in our life is depending on us paying attention to what season it is!
*quote by John Eldredge, Captivating
I've been thinking about that in my life for several reasons recently. There's just something easier, more slow-paced and relaxing, when it's summertime. Sure, I still have responsibilities; I'm not even entirely finished with the home school year for my son. But, the living is easy! I only have to look out my windows and see all the green and I'm overwhelmed with joy, peace, and utter contentment! (Maybe it helps that green is my absolute favorite color!) I'm sad to see it go, and so happy to see it return! It's the whole picture really: the blue skies, the contrast of the green leaves, brown tree trunks, and the vibrant colors everywhere! I'm in awe of God's glory all around!
"The earth in summer is brimming with beauty, beauty of such magnificence and variety and unembarrassed lavishness, ripe beauty, lush beauty, beauty given to us with such generosity and abundance it is almost scandalous."In summertime, the living truly is easier. In summertime moments of our lives, the living is easier too--no need to strive or work relentlessly. There is an easier flow or current to our days. The reality of our lives, however, is that it isn't always summer. The living isn't always easy. This is when the work needs to be done. This is when we have to take stock of exactly where we are and how we got here. And sometimes, we even need extra help in our journey! We're soaking in the rays of the sun during the summer; but in the bleak days of winter, we have to work purposely to warm ourselves. It's crucial for us to do what needs to be done when we aren't in summertime moments or days. If we have to work extra hard, or seek counsel, or evaluate and re-evaluate, then that is exactly what we should do! If we need to steer our boat in a different direction because a cold front is moving in, then that's what we'd better do! If we pay attention, we can surely see the warning signs that tell us it isn't summer any longer--or not for long.
I'm not always completely at peace in my own skin when it comes to growing older. If I'm honest, I'll admit that there are times when I long for younger, more carefree days. There are times when my numerical age just annoys me, because I feel at least 10 years younger on the inside. However, one thing I so appreciate about growing older is that I've learned better how to embrace different seasons of my life. Not always. Not without some work and determination. But, I've learned that there is a time to rest and enjoy; there is a time to put my hand to the plow; there is a time to study, reflect, listen, and learn. Wisdom tells us that we benefit from paying attention to the season that we're in and do what needs to be done during that season. So, when all is green--when the living is easy, then great! But, when the living isn't so easy, it is time to take stock and direct our lives, our days, on purpose!
I've been reflecting on this concept, as I said before, in several realms of my life and the lives of others around me. I've considered relationships specifically. Whether it's the relationship I have with my spouse; or the relationship with my children; friends or others, I have to choose to pay attention on purpose. I need to take stock at times. You know, driving is a lot easier in the summer (as long as your AC doesn't quit on ya), but driving in the winter takes a lot more skill, caution, alertness, and patience. There may be adverse road conditions! Our relationships can be exactly the same. When I see adversity arise in any of these relationships, I owe it to myself and the other person, to take stock and develop a course of action.
I honestly don't think that many of the conditions in our relationships take us entirely by surprise. If we are paying attention, we see the warning signs. When my daughter is whining excessively, chances are she needs some one-on-one time; she needs me to slow down and pay attention to her. She needs me to put the vacuum away, come sit with her on the couch, snuggle, and read a book. She doesn't need me to put the vacuum away and move on to the next task on my to-do list, while fussing at her to stop her whining! And I'm guilty, all too often, of the latter. When my husband and I start bickering about the relatively insignificant details of our lives, we need a date night! We need time to truly reconnect; we need to remind ourselves why we are together, what the future holds, and what we love about our life together. And, if we can't have a date night out, we make one at home; we get coffee or take-out, and we spend time together...we do this often! When it's summertime, we can just run outside in shorts and flip flops and take a walk. When it's getting colder, we have to do much more preparation to even venture outdoors.
It's well and good to enjoy the summertime days of our lives. When it's lush and green, enjoy as you should! It's also okay to go through the other seasons. They each have a purpose and something to teach us. The key is to pay attention. We must! Every relationship in our life is depending on us paying attention to what season it is!
*quote by John Eldredge, Captivating
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