Bearing Our Burdens Daily

Not gonna sugar-coat it:  today has been a rough one.  It has been emotional for me.  In the midst of playing catch-up with laundry, balancing the checkbook, cleaning downstairs, and fighting a scratchy throat with raw apple cider vinegar, I decided to log on to my children's school website and check out their grades.  I have conferences at school tomorrow evening for our school-age children so I wanted to be prepared.  No big surprises with my 2nd grader.  No huge surprises until I saw my 5th grader's Reading grade....ugh!  And my 3rd grader's Reading homework scores...ugh, again!  Let me just say that my first thought was:  these are the same two boys I home schooled....I failed them.  True, that was two school-years ago.  And true, my younger son was on the honor roll last year.  Also true, they may have had reading struggles with or without being home schooled.  Regardless, it was all of five seconds before guilt set in.  And blame.  And ultimately...discouragement.

It is no walk-in-the-park being a mama.  I thought about the tough conversation I'd have to have with both of them later today.  I thought about the very fun teacher conferences tomorrow night (insert a sarcastic tone)!  Then I went to a very bad place of frustration and ultimately comparison.  I didn't stop with reading struggles and grades.  Oh no!  I recounted the number of times my daughter has come home or gone to bed with tears in her eyes because she felt slighted on the playground by a girl she thought was her friend.  I thought about the few times my son had said he sat by himself at lunch.  I thought about the fact that my oldest son has only been invited to two birthday parties since we moved out here over two years ago.  Why can't anything about school be easy for any of my kids?  

And you know what else?  I started in with my woes.  Why does it feel so impossible to get any alone(and quality) time with my husband?  Why can't we get ahead financially when we save and give and pay our bills and shop as wisely(and thrifty) as we can?  And that takes me to the comparison questions:  Why is it that the same people who always have a free babysitter on hand also have an aunt or grandma or neighbor who buys brand new clothes for their straight-A kids?  I'm happy to find good deals on second-hand clothes.  Not only does money often feel like a struggle, but if we don't have something wrong with our house, it's wrong at our rental.  And why if all is right with the houses, does it go wrong with the car and truck?  And why...?  You get the idea!

And you know what else?  All this is okay.  It's all a part of this thing called life.  Griping, complaining, and comparing are not okay.  Life's circumstances are okay; the good will ebb and flow as well as the bad.  Most times I can be very balanced, remembering to give thanks for all the good.  But sometimes I go to that dark place and the woe-is-me and comparison trap begins.  It never ends in a good place.  It's ugly.  And I never feel better on the other side of it.  Why do I allow it?  

I was reminded today of Psalm 68:19.  A portion of that scripture says that God daily bears our burdens.  That gave me something to chew on for quite a while.  I realized that when I feel the hurts, anxieties, struggles, and worries that my children experience, I am bearing their burdens.  I carry and accept these burdens as part of my own.  Now I know that I cannot handle these problems for my children.  Ultimately my children are responsible for their grades as well as managing disappointments and maneuvering friendships.  My job is to train them, teach them, and help them.  However, when they hurt, I hurt.  When they struggle, I feel it too.  It's a natural response that I don't always consciously realize.  I am bearing their burdens.  They don't know this.  They may never know this.  But it's something a mama does.  And thank the Lord that I usually end up in a place of humility and prayer before God, knowing that I can't take away their burdens or solve any of these problems for them.  

I'm so thankful that God reminded me today that He bears my burdens.  He bears their burdens.  Daily.  Daily,  He accepts the responsibility for our burdens...and carries the weight of them.  We are absolutely not alone, no matter how it feels right now!  As I remind myself of this truth, I am reminded to teach my children this truth.  And I can pray with all of my heart that one day they will know this truth in the depths of their being.  They are not alone.  Just as He bore our shortcomings and sin on that rugged cross, Christ is daily bearing our burdens.  

Life is certainly messy and oftentimes plenty frustrating.  And if I allow myself into the comparison trap, I will always find someone who I've imagined has it easier...whose kids come home daily with great attitudes and smiles, birthday party invitations, high fashion boots, and straight A's.  But I'm also trapped in that imagination.  That's not where I want to live.  So, I'll take the occasional poor grades and dirty no-name tennis shoes.  And I'll take the fifteen minutes here and there throughout the week that my husband and I can find to have an uninterrupted conversation.  I'll take it because that is my life.  That is what has been given to me....along with a whole lot of good!  A whole lot to smile about.  And when it's not so good, I'll remind myself that just as I am daily bearing my children's burdens--whether they know it or not--God is daily bearing mine.

**linking up with http://holleygerth.com/

A Delightful Day...Despite

This past Saturday, my kids and I had a delightful day...despite.  A perfect Saturday to me, would be one in which our whole family would be together, whether we had chores and to-do lists or not.  This was not my perfect Saturday.  My husband had to work from early morning until early evening.  The girls had an overnight which didn't end until lunchtime Saturday.  We then had approximately a half hour to scarf down lunch and head out the door for a birthday party to which my daughter had accepted an invitation.  So often our weekdays feel rushed and busy.  I'd rather Saturday not feel that way.  But alas, this was our day.

The party was at a roller-skating rink in another town.  Our school district is so widespread that this is often the case.  I really didn't want to be in another town for two and a half hours so I fully intended to go home and drive back when it was over.  Unfortunately we knew no one nearby who was attending, so a carpool was out of the question.  When we were almost there I realized that it took a full thirty plus minutes to get there; I decided I didn't want to spend the entire afternoon in the car.  Staying at the rink with baby-in-tow and a younger daughter who would need me on the rink was out of the question.  I remembered driving past a very small neighborhood park.  

It was quite chilly, but after a quick check I realized everyone had a jacket or at least long sleeves.  The park was new to us.  It was cute and small.  It was a really fun few minutes.  A very few minutes.  We may have been there a whole fifteen minutes...before the wind kicked up and the rain started.  But this fun little adventure rejuvenated my kids so much; they must have thanked me and reminded each other to thank me...at least fifteen times!

Following the park we made a very fun stop at Dairy Queen.  It takes a mama no imagination at all to make this a successful outing. We laughed, ate, told stories, and enjoyed each other's company!  My 8 year old even attempted to eat the largest ice cream sundae on the menu!  What a nice laid-back time.  We capped off the afternoon with a little grocery shopping and then the kids finished watching a movie in the car.  When we arrived to pick up my daughter at the party, there was so much extra cake and balloons that my other kids were offered some, to which they happily accepted.  We got a kick out of watching Ella meander slowly around the rink in her tiny pink roller skates--the cutest things I have ever seen--for one last song.  This was a delightful day...despite.  Despite not having Daddy around on a Saturday.  Despite the rush out the door.  Despite spending the entire afternoon killing time in an unfamiliar town.  Despite the chilly rainy weather.  We had a delightful day despite any of my preconceived ideas for this Saturday!

That was repeated, surprisingly, on Sunday afternoon.  My son had an out of town soccer game mid-afternoon.  I had earlier that day griped mentioned to my husband that due to our hectic weekend schedules (which include him working every remaining Saturday in October), we weren't going to be able to pick apples at the apple orchard--a tradition we have looked forward to yearly since our oldest was a baby.  I was bummed!  On a country drive to my son's soccer game my husband declared "Hey, an apple orchard!".  After the game, we both decided "What the heck? It's Sunday--and probably the last weekend we have a chance to do this-- so let's go!"  We broke tradition a bit by going to a different orchard, and truthfully, I had to make peace with that...for a minute.  But, we had a delightful day...despite!  Despite missing church that morning (which we don't like to do).  Despite the tractor not starting (which likely means a battery purchase in our near future), and the back part of our property not getting mowed.  Despite the car drive to the soccer game, in which my husband and I were quietly mulling over discouragements.  Despite feeling like we couldn't possibly fit in every precious family tradition.  Despite life's upsets and challenges, we had a delightful day!  

Hopefully I'm learning a lesson here.  Life is very full of opportunities to make the most out of situations that don't look fun.  Time is precious.  And family time is a treasure.  I believe God always wants to redeem the time and the moments.  I'm trying to keep my eyes and heart open for opportunities to make a delightful day...despite.

Tending To The Hearts In Our Home

"It's a rare person who can take care of hearts while also taking care of business."

The above quote is what I see as I sit at my computer desk.  It is also what I see when I close my eyes and visualize the kind of mama I want to be.  My home is a bustle of activity most of the time.  My home, when the kids are here, is full--and I do mean full--of noise.   I have found that it is very easy, if not routine, for me to get caught up in the business of busyness.  There is never a moment when I think "hmm...what can I do?" or "Man, I'm bored!"  I'm sure you can relate.  The lists are endless and the categories never remain checked-off.  What I realized not too long ago was that if I didn't make some very purposeful changes, I would forever remain in the business of busyness.  And who would ultimately feel the price of that?  I would--I imagine--in years to come.  But also would little hearts.

I have a house full of little hearts that need tending to and cared for.  As a mama, whether you have one precious heart, five(like me), or more to tend to, you want to care for their hearts most wholly.  How do I know that?  You would not be reading this if that was not the case.  Not too long ago I began to feel some emotional and mental drain.  The new school year began and I said goodbye, somewhat reluctantly, to the lazy days of summer.  Actually, I did not fully realize how so until a few weeks in.  I have four school-age children and a baby at home.  Once the clock strikes 3, I brace myself!  A few minutes later, four very loud, excited children come through the door with stories, questions, homework, forms that need signed, hungry bellies, etc.  You get the idea!  From that moment until past bedtime, it is nonstop for me emotionally and physically.  I'm not complaining.  It just is.  And again, I'm sure you relate.  Not only do I miss the no-fuss, stay-up-and-outside-as-long-as-we-want days of summer, but as I said earlier, I began to realize how much I had fallen into the business of busyness.  Something felt amiss.

I didn't want to just check homework...and check progress...and check laundry...and check on dinner.  I wanted to check on their hearts.  How easy, as mama's, we can fall into the habit of doing everything to care for our home, meanwhile overlooking the most important job of truly caring for their hearts.  Well, at least that's the camp I had wandered into in some ways.  I didn't want to remain there.  I don't want to remain there.  I want to be the "rare person who can take care of hearts while also taking care of business."  Surely it's not good to neglect the business side of a busy home, and that would be readily noticeable to my brood!  But it's not acceptable to me--nor do I think it is to God--to neglect being foremost present in caring for their precious hearts.

So my first order of business in the tending department was to detach, very significantly, from social media.  I have done this before in the way of a hiatus now and then for various lengths of time.  It has always felt incredibly refreshing to me.  I won't go into all of the many reasons why I believe this to be personally necessary, at this point, other than to say that I was having a hard time discontinuing the news feed scroll.  Do you know what I mean?  I would log off of facebook, but all too often, the scroll would just go on and on and on...in my mind and emotions.  I'm a word-girl so maybe that's why I cannot just shut it off.  Words stick with me.  This can be good.  And this can be bad.  I determined, with God's prompting, that if I would purposefully choose to focus on my present day life and what God has for me this day, rather than what is socially "trending", then those little hearts would only benefit.  I have heard from other mama's and know that I am not alone in this very present-day(pun intended) struggle.  I'm not suggesting that God is prompting everyone in this course of action.  However, for me, it has been a sure-fire way to attune my heart more to God's words for my life and for those little hearts.

And that brings me back to the vision.  "It's a rare person who can take care of hearts while also taking care of business."  It really is.  And I'm not there yet.  I'm honestly not sure I'll ever be there fully.  But I'm happy with the first step--which has truthfully gotten me just a little bit closer.  There is less clutter and more space in my mind and emotions for that which concerns the little hearts God has given me.  Can you think of any ways God has been prompting you to be more present in caring for the hearts in your home?  If not, just ask Him.  I believe He will answer.

Head In The Clouds....

I had a fairly significant revelation this week that I wanted to share.  I was taking one of my evening walks when God gave me this understanding.  I am pretty certain that I was boohooing over some circumstances of the day....or possibly that day and the one before, primarily concerning my mommy-life.  I was asking God over and over, "when is this going to change?" and "when is that going to look different?"  When I finally shut my mouth (and yes, I take walks on my country road and rarely have more than 2 cars pass me in 2 miles....so I often talk aloud to God), He gave me some understanding that shed new light on my questioning.

When God speaks to me--as I believe He does with most of His children if we give Him the chance--He speaks to me in ways and words that I can understand or relate to.  So what He impressed on me was that the problem with most of us (myself very much included) is that we spend so much time looking forward.  What?!  Aren't we supposed to look ahead?  Fix our eyes on what's ahead...not behind?  Well, in a manner of speaking yes.  BUT, what God then said was that we are so busy looking forward at our horizon that we often fail to look up...at Him!

You see, the horizon can be beautiful at times and we can even become mesmerized by it!  Or (because life just plain stinks sometimes), our horizon might appear very discouraging.  I am not in the camp of denial-mentality Christians who think that somehow they are--or should be--exempt from life's messes.  You can choose to think that way, sure.  But you will quickly lose hope because you're believing a lie.  Jesus himself said that *in this life we would have trouble, but we should take heart because He has overcome the world.  I think we need to learn to be thankful in all circumstances and train ourselves to give thanks always...no matter what.  That being said, focusing on our horizon has the potential to become discouraging.  We can become irritated with the distractions or junk we see coming.  We can wonder when our horizon will ever look different!  We can even wish our horizon looked more like another person's...that we were headed in their direction.  Ahh...the comparison trap!

Moreover, we might become overly confident in what we think we are doing to create such a beautiful, seemingly endless picturesque horizon.  We might imagine that we are surely doing something right to see what we see ahead!  And while some of that might very well be true, we can falsely begin to depend on what we are doing rather than depending on God's goodness and grace!  In fact, we can (if we're not careful) begin to trust in what we see ahead, rather than trusting in the Creator of our horizon.  It's not at all wrong to look at our horizon, but we must be careful not to focus on that alone.

What God then impressed upon me was that we need to look up!  During this particular evening walk, the sky was very overcast.  But, as I looked up and allowed my eyes to truly take in the vast expanse of God's skies, I realized that even an overcast sky could appear magnificent.  When I looked up, I was reminded that there is so much more than what my eyes naturally see.  I was so in awe of the Creator God when I looked up and around!  It was then that I took my eyes off of what seemed apparent and evident and I began to dream about endless possibilities....because He is a God of infinite possibilities and wonders!  I was also freshly reminded to look to His face because that is where I find peace.  And often, even when there are clouds in the sky, if I look up I see His light shining right through them.  

God used this analogy to remind me to keep my eyes on Him!  It's not bad or wrong to look ahead.  And certainly I should move in the direction that I think He is leading me.  However, I cannot trust my horizon!  I have to put my trust in Him!  He is way bigger than my circumstances, however wonderful or lousy they may be.  In order to put my trust in Him, I have to look to Him....to gaze at Him!  Sometimes it truly is best to have my head in the clouds!


*John 16:33

Where Do Your Eyes Linger?

So I've been consciously trying to change my focus--my perspective--to one of thankfulness.  With thankfulness as your focus, it is really difficult to allow the grumps!  In fact, it is downright impossible to be grumpy if you are being thankful.  We can only experience one true emotion at a time.  The trick isn't snapping out of the grumps.  The trick is training yourself to be continually and consciously thankful.

I have read books about gratitude and happiness and I've learned new things about myself and my perspective each time.  But, the one thing I have realized (and continue to realize) is that I can only experience true thankfulness if I practice being thankful regularly.  Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts  was a great read for me...mostly because I was encouraged to do what I need to do:  practice being thankful in a tangible way.  Recently I discovered the One Thousand Gifts app and I am kind of obsessed!  I am continually taking pictures anyway!  To snap pictures, add my text, and keep a journal I can readily click to in a moment and remind myself of all the wonderful blessings I have in my life....is a gift in and of itself!  In fact, I have found myself searching in the midst of normalcy for those things that are precious and that I want to remember.  I am choosing to rejoice and give thanks throughout my day. 

The humorous side of this is that once I decided to train myself to give thanks, I was also faced with many daily aggravations that I could allow or disallow to steal my thanks, and ultimately my peace.  Such is life!  So many lessons out there on changing our perspective, aren't there?  But the truth is that we can't and won't change our perspective unless we actively change what we look at...where we allow our eyes to linger!  So, here are some of my recent "thankfuls" that I'd love to share with you.

My caption here was "beautiful floors to clean."  I definitely could have found reason to gripe in the midst of this particular cleaning a couple weeks ago.  I have 4 young children and often feel I'm the only one who cares about a clean house.  Okay, who am I kidding?  I am the only one.  Anyway... I have wood floors throughout my house and it can feel overwhelming, BUT...I have beautiful wood floors!  (At least, they're beautiful to me!)

My almost 4 year old finally learned how to pump her legs on the swing!  This is so monumental because, out of all my kids, she loves to swing the most.  She wants to swing all day!  As you can imagine, mommy got real tired, real fast constantly pushing Tessa "higher!" and "higher!"...so this makes us both happy!

My creative kids are playing pirates!  We bought the Aardman animated film "Pirates" and they love everything piratey now, matey!  So I loved walking out to the play set to see Ella at the top with her knees on planks, using a kaleidoscope for their pirate game.  Even better, they were all playing together happily....for a time!

I just have to say that this one really doesn't need much explanation!  I mean, who wouldn't be thankful for a warm plate of homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookies?  I fully intended to share with some neighbors, but oops!  We will do that another time, I promise!

"Some reading/coffee time to myself...."  Now, I truly don't get enough of this in my life, but I am SO THANKFUL when I do!  What a treat!  And, I also thanked God that morning for an amazing husband who recognizes my introverted need for times of refreshment...alone!

My husband, aka "Best Daddy in the World" hung a new rope swing for my kids in our front "willow weeper" tree, as my kids call it!  We had a rope swing in our tiny city backyard.  And although the kids now have 2 acres in which to run around, they missed their fun swing.  One trip to Lowe's after church and daddy fixed that!  Better still, my oldest is now strong and tall enough to push the others!  (and MOST of the time he's happy to do that...)

Okay, I love wind chimes...love them!  But, it didn't take long living in the country with the wind whipping through the fields that my wind chime broke.  I was sad!  The other day, as I was sitting on my front porch in our very worn porch-swing that my husband lovingly hung for me while I was grocery shopping, my daughter says, "Look, Daddy fixed your chime!"  Sure enough!  He made a new wooden piece at the bottom--so it could actually chime--and surprised me!  Such a happy surprise!  I have my front door open now and it's singing as my fingers type!


The funny thing about all of these pictures captured is that they are so normal.  We don't have an elaborate home or a fat bank account.  We have never had a family vacation, save weekends to visit my family in Cincinnati!  But, I am learning to focus, to celebrate, and to rejoice in the everyday blessings!  They overwhelm me even as I record them!  My life is a delight and worthy of celebration!  And I'll bet that yours is too!  No, everything is not perfect, wonderful, and beautiful all the time.  But many things are worth my gratitude.  I am learning to change my perspective because I am changing what I look at...and where I allow my eyes to linger.

His Timing is Always Best

Listening to the wind sweeping across the fields around me on this beautiful spring day, I'm reminded how winds of change can be so beautiful.  Change isn't often easy, but some change is a direct answer or culmination of answers to prayer...and it brings comfort!  As my school-age children got on the bus this morning, I heard a squeal from their morning bus driver.  I knew that she must be delighted at the small gift that my daughter had handed her!  I got momentarily choked up thinking over this school year that is quickly coming to a close.  My Ella finishes kindergarten this Friday and my boys finish school next Wednesday.  It is all bittersweet; their school year has been amazing!

I am certainly looking forward to the summer:  we have plans and are still making some.  I intend to enjoy my time with all four of my children home!  However, thinking back over this school year truly brings a smile to my face and warms my heart.  God is so faithful to answer our prayers...in His timing.  What I realize is that when we see the answer--or the culmination of answered prayers, in His timing--it is so sweet.  Praying about a new home, a new community, and very specifically about a new school district for my children was in the forefront of my prayers for several years.  I have spent almost every day of this school year being so grateful for His answers.  As the current school year comes to a close, I am grateful (to tears) that He heard all of my prayers and answered them beyond what I could have asked or even imagined!

From teachers, to classmates, to opportunities, to parent conferences, to art shows and consumer fairs, to father-daughter dances, to agricultural day (complete with pictures of my children on local farmers' tractors), to community volunteers that my children know by name....this has been a fantastic school year!  You see, I home schooled for 2 years.  Yes, I loved many aspects of homeschooling.  Yes, I truly believe it was the best decision for our family at the time.  No, I would not trade that time or experience for anything in this world.  But, 2 years was plenty long enough for me!  Whether it's my DNA, my kids' very strong-willed personalities, God's specific will for our children's lives, or all of the above...2 years was long enough!

I prayed and prayed for our new property and home; for our new community; and for our new school district.  I was and still am aware that on my own I did not know what was best for our family.  There were times over the almost 4 years that we wanted to move and put bids on different houses; tried to sell our home; attempted to rent it and then retracted, that I thought we knew what would be best.  Certain houses or areas charmed me in certain ways and I dreamed; I often felt we had found "the one" or "the perfect area"...but God knew best!  I know that now--fully and completely without any hesitation!  But I did not always know that along the journey of faith.  At times, I even intensely doubted that God was listening to a single one of my prayers.  And, during times of struggle with homeschooling, I feared that I would have to take on another year.  (Disclaimer:  if you are a very committed homeschooling for the entirety of your children's school life kind of mom, I have immense respect for you!  I am also aware that you might be shaking your head at my admission.  But I am fully comfortable in admitting that it isn't for me and my children for the long haul.)

Two days ago Ella, who is in kindergarten, and Luke, who is in first grade, told me that Ms. Marty needed me to call the library right away!  Marty is one of our community's librarians.  My preschooler and I see her weekly at story time.  My other children see her almost weekly at school as she helps with student reading.  We've seen her at monthly school events such as "Science Night" and a Christmas theatrical program.  We know her.  She knows us.  At first I thought that I must have neglected reading a notice sent home or forgot to sign something for the end of the year, although I had no idea what that could have been.  Then I realized it was probably about the Summer Reading Program.  My suspicion was confirmed when I spoke with Ms. Marty later that afternoon.  You see, she knows our family and knew that we would enjoy taking part in that program.  She didn't want it to fill to capacity before we had the chance to sign-up.  To me, this typifies our community!  

We see our bus drivers at school functions; our teachers at holiday parades; our kids wave at our farmer-neighbor as he plows the field....and he returns the wave, or stops to talk; and our children color pictures for the owner of the local pizza store, who loves our kids and always chats with us when we stop in.  This is the community of our prayers.  Our kids are at a fabulous school.  As I said before, I am so grateful!  What blesses me the very most is the lesson in all of this:  God's answers to prayer, along with patience in His timing, allow for the very best outcome.  Sure, we could have jumped ahead of him.  I'm sure that we could have had other homes and our kids could have done well at other schools.  But, what I know is how I feel...and I can't deny the immense gratitude at the beauty of His answers and His timing.  Everything about where we are (our property, home, school, community, and church) is better than we imagined!  We are excited for the journey ahead as it continues to develop and grow.  The lesson I have learned (or re-learned) can be applied to any area of need, desire, or prayer!  God knows best...He really does!  And His answers to prayer, in His timing, are better than we can imagine!  Don't forget to pray!  Give everything to Him in prayer, with thanksgiving, and watch the Master at work!

Times of Refreshing

Recently I looked up the meaning of "refreshing" because I realized that I have thought about, referred to, and used that word so much over the last few months in different contexts.  The meaning was what I thought it to be, and the definition I liked best said:  agreeably stimulating because of freshness or newness 'a refreshing change of pace'.  I really like that!  And, I think that we need that in our lives, don't you?  It seems that nothing good can come from the same old, same old.  In fact, if we don't change it up a bit, I think life has a special way of changing it up for us!

Well I have certainly felt a sense of refreshing over my life in different ways over the past few months.  This is not to say that there have not been unwelcome circumstances or speed bumps, because there have, but there has been so much come into my life that has been refreshing, and I am grateful!

Most often, I think that refreshing comes from following that still, small voice of God in our lives.  Do you know He speaks to us?  In so many different ways He does.  But He doesn't shout or pester to get our attention...as my children do more times than I care to remember.  He is gentle.  He is strong indeed.  But He deals with the important issues in our lives with such love and patience.  He embodies love and patience.  I so long to learn to be like Him in this way.  Let my heart be changed to be more like yours, God!  Through love, patience, and gentleness He speaks to us.  He prompts us.  He reminds us.  He encourages us.  He gives ideas.  Those thoughts that just don't go away about an idea or inspiration:  that's God's voice in your life.  Refreshing comes when we follow!  Times of refreshing await as we begin the walk of true and ultimate obedience, whatever the cost.  

Oftentimes the cost is what scares us the most.  This is where we hesitate.  We are all about self-preservation (selfishness) just as our children are, actually.  We don't want to move or go in a direction that we know will cost us...in some way.  But, as we obey and head in the direction that He encourages us to walk, we begin to step into times of refreshing.  We may not see or feel them right away...but they will come.  

Each of us has a different road to travel.  A different path to walk.  The beauty is in trusting that God has made no mistakes in the road He has chosen for you.  Trust says that I'm willing to go through the icky and the ugly to come closer to Him.  To come closer to what He has for my life.  Only in the icky and the ugly can we learn to trust.  And, when we really begin to trust--without hesitation and without reservation--we experience refreshing.  We experience a freshness or a newness!  We experience this because God provides us with these times.  He loves to do a new thing in our lives.  He loves to change the pace in our lives. This doesn't mean that He changes because truly, He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  But He does love newness and freshness.  I am realizing that He delights in seeing us refreshed as we allow Him to move and create newness in our lives and in our life's journey.  

I am thankful for the times of refreshing I have been experiencing.  Grateful is the other word I've heard myself saying.  That's more accurate.  I am truly grateful.  Not just grateful for the refreshing times, but I am grateful because I know, without a doubt, that the times of refreshing have come into my life as a result of trust and obedience.  And, I can take no credit for that.  He has been too patient with me.  He has been so good and gentle toward me.  So, if you find yourself yearning for times of refreshing...if you feel tears well in your eyes because that is the prayer and cry of your heart...  Listen for Him.  Be still and quiet before Him.  Even for a few moments of your day.  Be still.  Ask Him to speak to you.  Ask Him to reveal Himself to you.  Ask Him to show you the plans that He has for you.  He will.  He hears us and He longs for us to seek Him.  God will speak into your life.  He will direct your path.  He will make it clear.  It might take a while for you to see it clearly, but it won't be long before you see the next few steps in front of you clearly.  And when you do, walk in obedience.  Without hesitation, trust Him.  And as you trust in God, those times of refreshing will begin to come.