Friday, April 1, 2011

A Position of Peace Or An Angle of Anxiety

As I sit at my computer to write, our house is buzzing with loud, crazy, happy sounds.  We have a smaller home and wood floors so sounds are not absorbed so well.  All 6 of us are here in the living room.  The boys are building Lego's with Daddy and the girls are happily racing from the living room through the dining room to the kitchen and back, half-naked, squealing the entire time.  It is loud!  You may wonder why I am attempting to compose my thoughts right now.  Well, I guess I don't see why not.  This is my life, most of the time!  And, although the house is loud and somewhat crowded right now, there is peace.  There is peace here because my husband and I have peace, therefore our children are able to experience peace. 

I am in no way bragging about having peace; I don't always have it.  Now, in saying this I am also not trying to suggest that peace is some ethereal state of being that sometimes shows up in our midst...and sometimes doesn't.  Peace is a decision.  I would say that it's a daily decision, but honestly, I think it is more of a moment by moment conscious effort.  I can make a conscious decision to live my life from a position of peace or from an angle of anxiety. 

I am convinced that we can have peace in the midst of struggle.  I believe we can have peace in times of transition just as much as we can have peace when everything seems settled and smells like a bed of roses.  We can have peace during life's ups and downs because we can choose to have peace!  Personally, our family is in the midst of some decisions that will lead to transition--and we don't know what the outcome will be.  Now, I could allow anxiety to take a firm grasp on my soul and I could experience, emotionally and physically, the side effects of stress.  However, I am resting in peace.

I have noticed that when I feel anxious, it is a direct result of my lack of trust in God's best for my life.  At times, I allow myself to question whether or not God has good intentions for my life.  Admittedly, at other times, I have even come to my own conclusion that God truly does not have good plans for my life.  Needless to say, this is not a good place to be.  It is no wonder that in low times like these, I am anxious about darn near everything...and it shows.  I feel the anxiety; my husband sees the effects of my stress; and certainly my children live in an atmosphere that is not conducive to joy or peace.  It really doesn't take long for me to realize that I need to get my act together!  There is no magic solution; I have to make the decision to go back to the basics.  At the most basic of all my beliefs is God's love for me!  He has good plans for my life!  I need to turn back to the love and peace of my Father.  When I do this, I once again feel peace take its place in the center of my life.  If I choose not to, I experience anxiety. 

Right now I am choosing peace.  This is a really good place to be!  Now, every single thing isn't perfect.  Every unknown has not been made known.  Every question has certainly not been answered.  In fact, some circumstances could easily be seen as contrary, but we are choosing to trust in God's goodness.  Even when life isn't good...even when life is frustrating...God is always good!  He always loves us and He has good intentions for our lives!  From a position of peace, everything that I approach as a woman, a wife, and a mother is much more hopeful.  Peace lends itself to this hope.  Hope reminds me that there are better days ahead and that there are many more great experiences to come.  My children, just like me, thrive when peace is in our home--when peace is in their midst.  I have found that I can also accomplish even more in my daily life when I am in a position of peace.  When I am looking at life from an angle of anxiety, it is difficult to complete even the most menial tasks.  But, from a position of peace, I am able!  Obstacles, challenges, and transitions are surmountable from a position of peace. 

So, as I wrap this up, my children and my husband are obnoxiously singing silly songs while cleaning up a huge pile of Lego's (by throwing them into 2 plastic bins).  It has been a noisy hour!  We have had wrestling, squealing, bickering, running, crying, and hysterical laughing all the while I've been writing.  But guess what?  I have peace right now!  So, surprisingly enough, I have been able to write an entire blog entry despite contrary circumstances.  Writing does my soul good!  It's something I love to do; it helps me when I have the opportunity to write.  From a position of peace, I am able to conquer just about anything...and you are too!

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