Patience Prevails

I could have reached around and smooched him while driving!  Of course, safety prevailed.  My nine year old son was in the car with me and my baby, making a quick pit stop before heading home to prepare dinner for the rest of the gang.  He had been talking with his Dad and brother just the day before in regard to their excitement about playing catch outside once it gets warmer.  Luke has a couple baseballs, and although he has not played on a team, he enjoys playing catch in our yard with his Dad.  They had determined he still needed a mitt.

After we completed a quick errand, my ever-predictable Luke asked, "Mom, I don't know if this will be a yes or a no," (his precursor to every question in which he asks for something) "...but is there a place near here that sells baseball mitts?"  Unfortunately, due to our time crunch (and my motherly instinct to help Luke with patience), I answered "I'm not sure buddy but we're not buying a glove today."  "Ah man, I just really wanted to get one."  I told him I understood that, but that he would just have to be patient.  He responded so honestly with "I know.  That's just hard for me."

His genuine admission of struggle was enough to melt my heart.  I couldn't have loved him more at that moment.  I shared with him how I sometimes have a hard time with patience myself.  Okay, maybe sometimes isn't quite it; I often struggle with patience, in one area or another.  But that's not the reason I loved his confession.  I loved it simply for its sheer honesty.

Luke likes stuff.  Anyone who really knows him knows this is true.  Luke also struggles a great deal in times when he has to wait for stuff.  And if he gets an idea about new stuff, he prefers said stuff to be accessible immediately.  We try to balance allowing the opportunities for developing patience with occasions for blessing and rewarding him.

He had another opportunity to exercise patience this past Sunday at church. I had ordered my older son a hoodie with our church name and logo on it.  He doesn't ask for stuff often and I knew he really wanted this (plus the proceeds go to the church Missions Fund).  When we went to pick up Jaden's hoodie, Luke was quick to ask for one too.  I took him over to the table to look at colors and we placed an order.  When the lady helping us told us it should be there the following Sunday, Luke responded with "I have to wait a whole week?!"  I said "Buddy, you just have to be patient." He exclaimed "Hey! Patience is our 'bottom-line' this week!" In his children's church class they were discussing patience.  I thought to myself, it's about time! (Smirk)

He had to wait for something else that afternoon and it wasn't long before he appeared a bit somber.  He brightened later when he told me he had finally come up with the perfect idea for his 3rd grade Consumer Fair project.  I watched his face light up as he told me all about his idea...it really is pretty cute!  Snow falling fast outside, he asked if we could please go get the supplies so he could get to work right away.  Now, mind you, my previous day had felt nonstop as I juggled kids, chores, a recovering sickie, and baking while my husband was at an all-day training (and I am a mama who needs plenty of downtime).  This was Sunday afternoon (our day of rest):  the baby was down for a nap, and I wanted nothing more than one myself!  But this time...this time I couldn't bring myself to remind him to be patient.  Here came the time for balance.  (And the natural part of parenthood wherein you long to do good things for your children just because you love them!)  So away we went!  We had a fun time shopping together, just the two of us.  We even split a pack of Mentos!  We returned home (baby boy now wide awake and crawling with lightning speed toward this tired mama), and my son excitedly shed his coat and shoes and began his project.  Because this time, his previous patience had been rewarded!

Samples of Luke's "Messenger Bird Magnets" for the Evergreen Elementary 3rd grade Consumer Fair

It has since occurred to me that this is how God deals with us too.  Yes, as they say, patience is a virtue!  And truly, patience develops character.  Patience is a good teacher for all of us.  But even God rewards our patience for bigger stuff with smaller stuff.  And no, it's not always "stuff" that we are waiting on!

My husband and I have been wanting to build an addition onto this old farmhouse.  We are not trying to keep up with the Jones's.  I just think life would be a whole lot easier with more than one bathtub for seven people.  And a dining room (and table) big enough for our whole family would be super too!  It has yet to be feasible.  We must continue to be patient.  But recently, we sold our wood pellet burner which took up a good deal of floor space in our living room.  This enabled us to rearrange furniture and make room for our dining table.  Now--hooray!--you can enter the front door and the foyer without running smack dab into the dining room table!  I can't fully express just how happy this makes me!  I was also able to purchase some small items for our home that have been on my "Want to Purchase for the House" list.  My husband was also able to recently purchase enough wood to begin the trim-work for our entire downstairs.  These small rewards for our bigger patience are nice.  

While Luke had opportunity after opportunity to practice patience, it was a reminder to me of how often I am the same way.  Just like a child who constantly wants more.  In aiding Luke to practice patience regularly, and then--in an act of simple love, rewarding his patience--I realized how our loving heavenly Father is also gently teaching us.  And when we fail to be patient?  No worries!  We will certainly be afforded another opportunity!  But guess what?  God is patient with us as we learn to wait on Him!

I'm having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth

Practice Makes Patience: The Lesson I Learned From "Evan Almighty"

My husband and I picked up the movie "Evan Almighty" with Steve Carell quite a while ago, but we hadn't watched the whole thing. My children ended up watching it several months ago when they were at Grandma & Grandpa's house. They seemed to enjoy it tremendously, so we decided to give it another try. Of course, watching it with our children, who are so easily amused, made the movie enjoyable for all of us. We have to rewind it to the first song of the closing credits again and again because it's great dance music; my kids try all kinds of new dance moves and end up in hysterics. Some movies are fun for us all!

In the climax of the movie, God, played by Morgan Freeman (as one would expect) speaks to Evan's wife about prayer. He reminds her that when someone prays for something specific, God gives that person the opportunity to see that specific something change. For instance, when someone prays for their family to become closer, God gives the family opportunities to grow closer. When someone prays for patience, God gives that person opportunities to become more patient. I've spent many years hearing people in church say, "Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it." You know, be careful if you ask God to give you a deeper compassion for hurting and lost people, because He'll probably send you to live in some third world country for five years. Really! This be careful what you pray for notion has kind of messed with me for some time. In certain areas of my life, I would pray and then have some skepticism about what would happen next. I mean, who wants to pray for patience if the answer is going to come in a book entitled, A Hundred Ways You Will Feel Impatient Today? In some areas, I really did hesitate before I prayed. Maybe it would just be better not to pray about this thing....

Well, I am going to humble myself right now and admit that all of this became so much more clear to me after thinking about how Morgan Freeman said it. That figures! Well...Morgan Freeman and the most recent transition of home schooling my first grader. My husband and I made the decision mid-summer that I would home school my first grader this year. There are several reasons behind this, but for this year it turned out to be the best decision for our family. So, weighing it all out and deciding if I could do this lent itself to a bit of soul-searching and some changes in perspective, which is all good. My greatest concern, however, was in the area of my patience, or lack thereof. I would like to go on record declaring that I am one of the most loving and patient moms anyone could ever meet. But...that would be stretching the truth! Before I became a mom, I most likely considered myself to be a very patient person. Honestly, I can't remember ever examining the idea of patience so intensely as I have since becoming a parent. I mean to tell you, it's a daily struggle now! Each and every day my darling children provide me with such a wide variety of opportunities to show patience, bless their generous hearts!

And, don't you know, that each and every time I begin to pray that God will give me a patient heart, I hear that be careful what you ask for in the back of my mind gnawing at me. Then I hesitate again, if it's this much of a struggle now do I want it to get worse? So, I sometimes back off and decide to just pray for my friends, as Job did!

Well, the climax in my story is that after several days of home schooling my son (all the while taking care of my other 3 children, my home, grocery shopping, laundry, the budget, etc.), I realized that I have felt more patient in my heart and in my reactions than I have felt in a long time. I was astonished! How could this be? I am balancing more on my plate throughout the day than I have since becoming a mom. This home schooling is no easy task. Teaching my 7 yr. old to become a more proficient reader is no easy task! But, I am becoming more patient each and every day. In celebrating this discovery, I remembered Morgan Freeman's words (well...paraphrased, that is). He told Evan's wife that if someone prays for patience, God gives them opportunities to become patient. I just always looked at this the wrong way! God didn't give me a hundred ways to feel irritated or impatient over the last week or so. He gave me many opportunities to practice patience. I have found myself practicing patience because I really have no other choice. Well, I do have another choice, but I have realized that I am becoming more patient because of this decision to home school. As I said, there were several reasons behind the decision to home school, but God developing patience in me was not atop my list of considerations. Yet, here we are! God is developing patience in me!

The climax of my story is that stretching myself to do more than I was even sure I could handle, is causing me to become a more patient person. Having to balance many tasks and responsibilities throughout my day is proving to be more of a blessing in my life than I thought possible. Yes, it's early. Yes, I'm sure my children will continue to try my patience when they see fit. But, I am learning that practice makes perfect (just as I tell Jaden about handwriting and reading). And, practice makes patience--or, at least in my case. I may be a special case (and from time to time I like think I am) but most likely I am the same as anyone out there. We hesitate to make a decision, or utter a prayer, that could test us. We don't want to fail. What we need to realize is that God tests us with good things--good opportunities! He knows what we need long before we realize it. I believe also that He knows how best to get us there. So, as I teach my son to read, write, add, and subtract, I am allowing myself to learn to be a more patient person. As I encourage him to slow down and sound out the words, I am reminding myself to choose patience. As I take a break from our history lesson to solve a toddler dispute or comfort my tired baby, I am practicing patience. So, thank God for "Evan Almighty" and the profound lesson that Morgan Freeman shared with me. When I chose to ask God for patience, He provided me with an opportunity to home school my first grader. I am learning each and every day to practice patience. For that, I'm thankful.